Friends since grade school.
I'm always a little jealous of people who claim to have had this or that friend since grade school. They are folks blessed with a talent that I have no point of reference for.
Let's trace this back, shall we. It'll take less than a half-day, I promise.
We all had friends as schoolchildren. I remember arriving my first few days of grade school, dropped off by my mom to Mrs. Clayton's classroom. It was the penultimate classroom on the right-hand side of the oldest wing of the school. The floor sloped gradually near the end of the hall, so the last two classrooms were a split-level lower than the others on the hall which were a split-level lower than the classrooms in the new addition.
I remember waving by to mom and crying. For hours. Inconsolable.
It probably didn't last for hours. I probably only cried for a few minutes before the water works dried up and I got to the day's lessons. Then again, knowing seven-year-old me, I probably cried all day.
This quite possibly set me apart from my peers, making me, in a word, unfriendable. Sure I knew all the kids in class with me. The tall girl who got off the bus three stops before me. The twins who had that weird non-vocal communication thing down to a crazy science. There was the redhead who was close friends with the blonde with the gymnastics pedigree.
I was alone most of my time in school. At least, that's how I remember it.
Side note, I'm sure I socialized with kids in school. I had a "best friend" character who lived a few blocks from me growing up, but he was in a different class. That was a time where your class was your tribe, your faction in the great primitive civilization known as elementary school.
Point is, from that moment to the moment I was able to leave following a lovely ceremony involving caps and gowns and rolled up pieces of paper saying that I "graduated" elementary school, I didn't make any friends that would carry me through adulthood. Perhaps because while most of the class went to one school, I was bussed to a different one.
Perhaps because, by way of crafty parenting, I never really lived in my school district after that time. I remember running into a kid I thought was my friend as a sub-freshman and he wanted nothing to do with me.
I wonder if there's an advantage I've gained with not having that lifelong friend. Would I have gotten into more trouble? Probably. I may have learned more, but I may not have had the chance to figure out as many things on my own as I have.
Was I a ready-made introvert? The example of Mrs. Clayton's classroom my scream yes. Only child, thrown into the strange surroundings of kids he'd never seen before could've served to reinforce the feeling that if I was going to play, I was going to play solo.
Was I trained as an introvert? Possibly. Even the other kids from my neighborhood already had peer groups, or at least peer pairings, by the time I met them. At seven, I was already socially disadvantaged.
No, that implies that outside forces acted on me, that I had no control over whether I made friends or not. It's always been up to me. I probably had more important things to do.
If you have people in your life that you've known since grade school, cherish them. Congratulate yourself as well. Those friends, those close relationships, were hard-earned. You have someone who's been on this journey with you for a very long time and the importance of that cannot be overstated.
Let's trace this back, shall we. It'll take less than a half-day, I promise.
We all had friends as schoolchildren. I remember arriving my first few days of grade school, dropped off by my mom to Mrs. Clayton's classroom. It was the penultimate classroom on the right-hand side of the oldest wing of the school. The floor sloped gradually near the end of the hall, so the last two classrooms were a split-level lower than the others on the hall which were a split-level lower than the classrooms in the new addition.
I remember waving by to mom and crying. For hours. Inconsolable.
It probably didn't last for hours. I probably only cried for a few minutes before the water works dried up and I got to the day's lessons. Then again, knowing seven-year-old me, I probably cried all day.
This quite possibly set me apart from my peers, making me, in a word, unfriendable. Sure I knew all the kids in class with me. The tall girl who got off the bus three stops before me. The twins who had that weird non-vocal communication thing down to a crazy science. There was the redhead who was close friends with the blonde with the gymnastics pedigree.
I was alone most of my time in school. At least, that's how I remember it.
Side note, I'm sure I socialized with kids in school. I had a "best friend" character who lived a few blocks from me growing up, but he was in a different class. That was a time where your class was your tribe, your faction in the great primitive civilization known as elementary school.
Point is, from that moment to the moment I was able to leave following a lovely ceremony involving caps and gowns and rolled up pieces of paper saying that I "graduated" elementary school, I didn't make any friends that would carry me through adulthood. Perhaps because while most of the class went to one school, I was bussed to a different one.
Perhaps because, by way of crafty parenting, I never really lived in my school district after that time. I remember running into a kid I thought was my friend as a sub-freshman and he wanted nothing to do with me.
I wonder if there's an advantage I've gained with not having that lifelong friend. Would I have gotten into more trouble? Probably. I may have learned more, but I may not have had the chance to figure out as many things on my own as I have.
Was I a ready-made introvert? The example of Mrs. Clayton's classroom my scream yes. Only child, thrown into the strange surroundings of kids he'd never seen before could've served to reinforce the feeling that if I was going to play, I was going to play solo.
Was I trained as an introvert? Possibly. Even the other kids from my neighborhood already had peer groups, or at least peer pairings, by the time I met them. At seven, I was already socially disadvantaged.
No, that implies that outside forces acted on me, that I had no control over whether I made friends or not. It's always been up to me. I probably had more important things to do.
If you have people in your life that you've known since grade school, cherish them. Congratulate yourself as well. Those friends, those close relationships, were hard-earned. You have someone who's been on this journey with you for a very long time and the importance of that cannot be overstated.